do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
