dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
