whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
