windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he was CRYING into my vagina
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
