I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
