handjob tips. give me some.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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