i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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