i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
