No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im six kinds of drunk right now
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
