you mean i was at the winter classic?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
did i walk over a car last night?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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