I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
