Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
