do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
