Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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