It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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