If that was your dad, he is hot
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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