I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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