Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
