highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
