I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
