he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
