I am in a vortex of obligation.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
