Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
