I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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