a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have tasted many bathrooms
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
