I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
