I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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