brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
