'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize