What a fucking waste of an outfit
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
