i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
