Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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