she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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