She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
