For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
