I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's just like the Real World with babies
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
