Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
