I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
