drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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