don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
