Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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