I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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