Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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