Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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