Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
love makes seman taste better
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
