Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes

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(330): View more from Ohio

So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...

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(205): View more from Alabama

he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...

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(251): View more from Alabama

He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember

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(641): View more from Iowa

and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving

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(954): View more from Florida

He left his cock-ring in my truck.

(305): View more from Florida

Consider it a gay sex souvenir.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening

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(443): View more from Maryland

Anyways enough about genital fatigue...

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.

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