a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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