i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
