We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
