Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
