on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
