I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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