She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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