with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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