so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize