i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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