The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
