Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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