I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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