His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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